For several years, my daughter has
been reminding me that I am in my golden years. She says this when I haul brush
or weed-eat for many hours at a stretch. I started thinking about my golden
years: if I am really in them, what am I supposed to be doing?
This year, the day marking my
seven decades of life was spent with the women of our family at our Women’s
Weekend. Our first weekend together was when my daughter was fifteen so this
one must have been our twenty-ninth. TWENTY NINTH! That is shocking. Time flies. I
wanted to stop flying time. I thought if I wrote about it and then read about
it in the future, it would be the same as slowing it down and living it twice.
I didn't know then that what was so important in that moment would be so BORING
the second time around!
I've kept personal journals since 1968. I imagined that when I reached my golden years, I would sit in my rocking chair and read about my life. Then, when I was done reading, I knew my daughter was going give the journals to my son or burn them instead of reading them herself. At first I was dismayed but recently I began reading the journals and they are BORING! I now see that the purpose they served at the time was for me to hear myself explain to myself what was happening so I could better understand the situation and feel some sense of empowerment in troubled times.
I am living the best time of my life right now. The things I worried about when I was younger are no more. My children are thriving, each in their own way. Having a twenty-dollar bill as my secret savings security has changed to a fat little envelope of twenties. And, I no longer wonder what will become of me because I have so many years to look back upon and I am pleased. Hey! These really are my golden years.
So, I have decided to stop writing in journals. In fact, I will be the one to burn my journal collection. That brings me to this blog because I still have a lot to say to myself and I thought some others might be interested in what really happens in the golden years. First secret is, there isn't a lot of rocking chair use, at least not yet.
Jay and I are embarking on a new project. We have found our dream property and are in the design phase of our new home, Mill Pond Cottage. I will keep a separate blog for that project with a link here.
